Some Impotent Stories We Wrote That Won’t Free Any Children From America’s Clutches — See Also

RAISES KEEP COMING: If that makes you feel better.

NOT JUST FOR BIGLAW, BUT FOR BOUTIQUES AS WELL: I mean, we live in a fascist state that houses children in cages, but at least we’re rich.

OH LOOK, CALIFORNIA IS HERE FOR THIS TOO: It feels like California should be the mustering ground for the counterattack against the Nazi takeover. If that comes to pass, hopefully some of these lawyers can put people up for a night so we don’t have to violate the Third Amendment.

IN NON-RAISE NEWS, RANSOMWARE IS COMING: I mean, the President of the United States is holding children hostage for his wall funding, I don’t see why the bots should behave any differently.

I DON’T THINK THE SUPREME COURT WILL BE OF ANY HELP: That august body has been completely compromised by the same rot that infects the rest of the nation.